Entrance Interviews at Blackthorne
by MiriCG
Summary: My take on what an entrance interview at Blackthorne would be like if the people were as strange as I make them. A parody feat. a strangely confused Grant, an uppity Solomon, and a paranoid Dr. Smith.


**This happens to be a parody I made quite some time ago. It doubles as my apology to the readers I've ignored for months. 0_0 sorry. There are other fun extras (completely different theme, though…) but very few that are already typed…It's a one shot. My thoughts on what an entrance interview to Blackthorne would be like—just…parod-ized.**

**It would be kind of fun if they had nicknames, don't you think? =) **

**File Type**_**: Entrance Examinations Part 3: Grant Newman**_

This document is a record of the entrance interview made between an accepted student, Grant Newman, and his interviewers Dr. Stevenopochondralitisivvo Walker and Mr. Joseph Solomon. Recorded by the Senior next Door, a.k.a. the Creepy Senior, CS, Strange One, etc. (Blackthorne tradition: losers of a class-wide competition get to scribe incoming students' interviews from behind an artificial wall)

Newman:"Wow, it's pretty bright in here."

Doc:"Well, we like to keep our potential students awake…and off guard."

Newman: "What?"

Doc: "Hello, Newman, I'm in charge here. Mr. Geery, please come in."

[footsteps. Someone sits in a chair]

Doc: "Mr. Geery, uh…you…uh…never mind." [Solomon is presumed to have sat in Walker's seat at this time]

Solomon aka Geery: "Wow, these walls are really….white. Brings back memories…Have a seat, Mr. Walker."

Doc: "Hmph" [presumed indignant] "Well—oh!" [clears throat] "Well, uh-" [small paper is crumpled. Estimated to be about the size of sticky note. Possibly one of the notes used to designate seating arrangements. Crumpling may be considered a sign of paranoia, not uncommon among spies]

Solomon: "We should move on…Why am I here?"

Doc: "Because we're your, uh, Alma…"

Solomon: "Mater? Yea, beside that. I mean, I have things to do…other than interview a bunch of brats and wannab-"

Newman: "Are we going to start now or what?"

Solomon: Yea, sure, whatever, kid, just wait a sec-"

Doc: "We'll begin just as soon as I find your file."

[long silence. Shuffling of files, folders, and papers is heard. Chuckle from Solomon. Paper is slid across table, from Solomon to Walker? Growl is emitted, presumably from Doc Walker. File is heard thrust into someone's face.]

Doc: "Thank you. _Solomon_. Let's begin, shall we-"

Solomon: "All right, so you're good. Really good. But do you think you have what it takes?"

Newman: "What? What are you talking about?" [perhaps over-thinking? Student had exceptionally high scores]

Solomon: [chair is heard scraping against the floor as interviewer leans forward in seat. Note: audio improves] "I'm talking survival."

Newman: "Sure, I can survive just about-"

Doc: [laughs] "Oh, no, no, my boy. You see, he means '_survival_'."

Newman and Solomon: [silence]

Solomon: "Anyway. So tell me, what would you do if you had an item of phenomenally important proportions-you're touring through enemy territory, the sky is blue, the grass is kind of green, the goats are bleating happily, and, all of a sudden, in your taxi, the driver turns around, draws a gun, and points it at your forehead?"

Newman: "…Did I just—I think I might have walked into the wrong interview."

Solomon: "Wait!" [more shuffling of papers] "No, you're the right kid. We just need some more information."

Newman: "Fine. Whatever. …Dude, I'm hungry…"

Solomon: "That's fantastic. All right, for verification purposes, state your father's name and occupation."

Newman: "Justin Newman. Naval officer. Or something like that."

Solomon: [laughs] "That's what he told you?" [laughs] "Anyway."

Newman: "Uhh, Mr. Geery? I think I'm beginning to feel a little sick…"

Solomon: [paper shuffle] "Why?"

Newman: "If I knew why-" [gags]

Doc: "Ah! That is most probably a side effect of the truth serum we gave to all of the kids so we could get the necessary information quickly and effectively. It must be kicking in—don't panic. Some of these kids are natural liars."

Solomon: "Aren't we all? You know, Mr. Walker, for a paranoid man, you sure can't keep a secret."

Doc: [laughs] "Oh, yes. That must be another side effect. The paranoia and the blabbermouth-ish tendencies. I tried the serum just yesterday because we hadn't experimented on it before…what with all of the extra paperwork necessary and all. It's a new model. Oh, yes. And don't call me 'Mr. Walker'. The boy may discover my true identity."

Solomon: "What are we playing? Superheroes? Moving on…Hey, Walker, is this another side effect? The kid's changing color."

Doc: "I think he's just blushing." [laughs]

Newman: "Blushing?" [voice appears somewhat feral; observing significant change in audio tonality and aggressiveness]

Doc: [laughs unreasonably loud and long] "All right, all right. Moving on. Your mother?"

Newman: [panting] "My _MOTHER_?"

[crash; later discovered that tumultuous sound signified a leap over a considerable distance made by the interviewee that ended upon Mr. Walker. Various strangling noises may be heard, later translated to be "Stop it, you fiend," "Solomon, help me," and "Help me", all in a row]

[noise that sounds remarkably like someone slapping one's own forehead, thought to be Solomon]

Solomon: "I don't believe this…" [footsteps. Interviewee is dragged back to seat; judging from noise heard, it is assumed that the interviewee's arms were locked into the chair's restraints. Note: Why are there restraints?]

**It's a little strange, I know. Sorry for any mistakes that could be in there-it was pretty much a rough draft I pulled out from a day I wrote for fun. But did you like it?**


End file.
